This section is to give information to young men who may be
worried that their girlfriend or partner might be pregnant.
Preventing pregnancy:
If you are having sex but do not yet want a baby, then you are
just as responsible as the person you are having sex with to make
sure this doesn't happen. If you feel that you are ready to have
sex, then discussing with your partner what contraception you are
going to use will mean that you find a method that suits both of
you.
Unprotected Sex: What Now?
If you and a girl have had unprotected sex, there are still
steps that can be taken to prevent the pregnancy if this is not
what she wants.
The earlier a girl/woman gets either of these forms of emergency
contraception after unprotected sex the better.
What if she is pregnant?
This may be a confusing time. You may feel shocked, alone,
scared and worried. You could also feel pleased and happy. Whatever
you are feeling it is important to remember that she will be
feeling a number of things too. Even if you are not a couple, this
is going to affect you both, so it might help to talk to each other
about these feelings. Ask how you can help and what if anything she
would like you to do. Offer her support and try to be understanding
wherever possible. It will be tough, but there are places you can
both go to talk to someone about these feelings and discuss the
choices available. You will be treated with respect and you won't
be judged. If she is pregnant then there are three choices
available.
These are:
- For her to continue with the pregnancy and raise the baby
- For her to ask for a termination of pregnancy (abortion) to end
the pregnancy
- For her to continue with the pregnancy and have the baby
adopted
No one decision is right or wrong and it is important that
no-one puts pressure on you or her to make a decision you are not
ready for.
What can I do?
This depends on two things:
- What do you want to do?
- What does she want you to do?
Deciding what to do is not an easy decision to make. Each option
should be considered carefully. If you want to be involved, you
have the right to your views and it is important that you are able
to have your say. It would be great if you could both come to a
decision you are happy with.
However the final decision will be hers and this may not always
be the same as yours. This may be difficult to accept, and
therefore it is important that you have support should this
happen.
If she decides to go ahead with the pregnancy and keep the baby,
then your role will depend on what you want and also what she
wants.
However whatever you decide about how involved you want to be,
you will still have a legal responsibility to the child.
What are my rights?
Boys/men have no automatic rights in the pregnancy
decision-making process even if you are married to the person. It
is therefore important that you try and talk to each other, so that
if possible, the decision made suits you both.
If she does not want you to be involved in bringing up the baby,
you have no automatic rights, unless you are married. However, you
can apply to the court for a contact order so that you can see your
child.
There are organisations who can help you to understand your
rights and offer you support
Legal obligations:
Even if you are not in contact with the child or the mother you
have a legal responsibility to pay to support the child.
Talk about it:
Whatever happens it is important for you that you get support.
Think about who you could talk to about this - your
mum/dad/brother/sister or a close friend. Discussing the pregnancy
with family members or other adults may seem difficult, but not
talking about it won't make the pregnancy or the decision any
easier to cope with. If you don't feel comfortable talking to
someone you know straight away, remember there are contact agencies
who can offer you support and advice and are there to listen.
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