Pressure and choices

What sort of things should you consider before having a sexual relationship? It's a good idea to ask:

  • Am I sure about this?
  • Do they want the same as me?
  • Do I feel safe?
  • Am I doing this because of other people's expectations?

And of course it's completely fine not to be interested in having a sexual relationship at all.

We can feel pressure to have sex from all sorts of people. It can come from a partner, from our friends, from our families or communities. We can even put pressure on our selves to have sex to fit in with our ideas about what everyone else does or what kind of person we think we should be.

For some, choosing not to have sex can be a positive choice in their life. People can choose not to have sex for just one night, or for longer periods of time regardless of whether or not they are in a relationship.

It's OK to change your mind about having sex - it's up to you when you want it or don't want it.

Sometimes people have sex with someone and afterwards wish they hadn't. If you feel you've made a mistake and feel down or worried, talking about your feeling of regret can help make you feel better and help you understand why you made your choice.

Whatever choice you want to make it's important not to be pressured into doing something you don't want to do. Remember you have a right to take charge of what happens to you and your body and to make your own choices. If you find yourself in a situation where you don't want to have sex but are not sure how to go about dealing with this then it can be very helpful to talk to someone about it.

Here are some people you can talk about your concerns:

  • The Sandyford Clinics can provide you with all the information and help you need when it comes to sexual health.
  • Copeline provides free and confidential listening, support and information helpline for people who are anxious, distressed or experiencing an emotional crisis. Phone: 0800 056 8181
  • The Listening Ear provides a service to talk about emotional, mental or physical health worries. Phone: 0141 211 6700