What sort of things should you consider before having a sexual
relationship? It's a good idea to ask:
- Am I sure about this?
- Do they want the same as me?
- Do I feel safe?
- Am I doing this because of other people's expectations?
And of course it's completely fine not to be interested in
having a sexual relationship at all.
We can feel pressure to have sex from all sorts of people. It
can come from a partner, from our friends, from our families or
communities. We can even put pressure on our selves to have sex to
fit in with our ideas about what everyone else does or what kind of
person we think we should be.
For some, choosing not to have sex can be a positive choice in
their life. People can choose not to have sex for just one night,
or for longer periods of time regardless of whether or not they are
in a relationship.
It's OK to change your mind about having sex - it's up to you
when you want it or don't want it.
Sometimes people have sex with someone and afterwards wish they
hadn't. If you feel you've made a mistake and feel down or worried,
talking about your feeling of regret can help make you feel better
and help you understand why you made your choice.
Whatever choice you want to make it's important not to be
pressured into doing something you don't want to do. Remember you
have a right to take charge of what happens to you and your body
and to make your own choices. If you find yourself in a situation
where you don't want to have sex but are not sure how to go about
dealing with this then it can be very helpful to talk to someone
Here are some people you can talk about your concerns:
- The Sandyford Clinics can provide you with
all the information and help you need when it comes to sexual
- Copeline provides free and confidential
listening, support and information helpline for people who are
anxious, distressed or experiencing an emotional crisis. Phone:
0800 056 8181
- The Listening Ear provides a service to talk
about emotional, mental or physical health worries. Phone: 0141 211