Talking about sex can be difficult, especially if it is about
changes in your level of desire or if you feel your needs are not
being met. Even if everything is fine it's a good idea to check out
how your partner is feeling about your relationship every now and
If you want to talk about sex:
- Think about what you want to say
- Think about how you would want another person to approach the
subject with you.
- Find a time when you are both relaxed and not having to rush
off to do something else.
- If it is you who has lost some of your previous desire for sex
you might want to start by reassuring your partner. Try to explain
how you are feeling; acknowledge that you recognise they still have
needs and that you are willing to find ways that both of your needs
can be met. You might need to think about things other than the act
of sex, like cuddles, massages or baths.
- If it is your partner who is less interested in sexual intimacy
start by recognising that this is okay if this is how they feel,
but that you have needs which are not being met. Try to find things
that you both find agreeable.
Remember there are helping agencies who can help you talk with
your partner about what you want from your sexual relationship as
well as other aspects of your relationship.